Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Days of waiting...

It seems that there are periods in life where we do lots of waiting.

And it seems that we are in one of those periods now.

First of all, we are waiting for spring. Today was a cold, snowy, blustery day, reminding us how much we appreciated those warmer days that we had, and how difficult winter can be. The winds were howling off the lake and we had a few inches of snow at least. It is hard to tell how much, as it was drifting so much. BRRRRR.... We had gotten so spoiled! A reminder of how 30 degrees felt nearly balmy! But, it is nearly March, so things are progressing towards spring - two steps forward, one step back - welcome to nearing spring in Wisconsin. Even the horses stayed in their sheds!!! Usually it takes a lot for them to go in there, they don't mind bad weather generally, but today - out only to eat and drink.

Second of all, waiting for baby. It is a bizarre thing to be thinking about a baby that I cannot feel. To be preparing for a newborn, with no sensation of a child within me. It is the most surreal thing. Plus the concerns of all that must be done, the risks with an independent adoption, etc. Honestly if the birth parents decided to parent, I really could rejoice in that for them, but I would also be sad as I so would love to have another blessing in the home. But, if God moves and we are not to be this baby's parents, then I know that he has a plan and all will be well. He wouldn't bring us down this road to just leave us. But, oh, I so long to hold a sleeping baby, to be up nights with a small bundle, to watch another young life grow and develop and be loved and love. Sigh. So much uncertainty, so much time. Each day literally ticks by. My cell pone rings and I jump to see if it the birthmother. I recall whenever she tells me she has a doctor's appointment and wait for news. The last news was good, he is growing again. Hopefully this week I will hear more. We have an attorney lined up, are working on the homestudy, getting things ready. But.... Well, nothing will be final until we hold him in our arms, and actually until the court hearing, and then our finalization of his adoption. So, it is again a journey of faith we are on. Excited and scared at the same time.

Waiting for all our baby goats! Springtime gets wonderfully busy with new babies and right now one of the goats really has us sort of fooled. She is truly due soon, showing signs that these babies are coming, but she sure is taking her sweet time. So, we keep an eye on her every hour or so via the camera (silly thing is laying in her heated hut, chewing her cud right now!!!), and send someone out directly to check her condition carefully. Things keep showing progress, but not what we thought. I really thought it would go a little faster, but while she is healthy and well, she is still pregnant!!!!! The constant watching is wearing! How exciting it will be to have new babies! It really lends a bright spot in the hard end of winter. (Wouldn't it be sweet to have kittens or something for distraction???)

Waiting for so much. I don't wait well. I know that God is teaching me patience and I am trying to learn it. Sigh. So, I do what I can to use this time.

Today I suspect my grandmother Dorothy is laughing at me up in heaven - yes, Grandma, I used a flour sifter today! I generally skip that part, but after being home sick and all, I was able to get out some, but petered out before church, so sent Steve and the kids on while I went home. Got two more loads of laundry done, and baked my first batch of baking powder biscuits - to go with the calico beans that are in the crockpot for a later dinner after church (we had a late lunch too). So, all my grandmas, I used a sifter and liked it! LOL! I really love baking. My cooking is getting more interesting and I think better. I love to cook meals for everyone and really miss it when things are busy and I don't get to cook as much. So, it feels good to make things for my family's tummies! So, I bake. And do lots with the crockpot. I love coming home to a wonderful smelling house, knowing there is a hot meal for all the family. Even when we have been all over.

Life with the play is exciting and wearing too! Show time is the first week in March, so next week, which means more rehearsals, working on lines throughout the days, assembling pieces needed for costumes, sewing of costumes (I am sewing five of the pirates' pants!), and just lots of planning. The week of the show is very intense and busy, but oh, so worth it. It is such a great opportunity for the kids, a great experience, great learning and all. They gain such confidence, such presence. It is wonderful. Tiring for Mom and Dad, but wonderful. We have made such great friends through this and had experiences we never would have thought we could have. Evergreen Children's Theater is just a great group! I never had the chance, or most likely never took advantage of the chance, so we really work hard to make sure the kids have the opportunities if they want them.

So, it is a season of waiting - for spring, for babies of multiple kinds, for fun things, for changes in our lives. God is with us in the waiting, with us in the activity, with us at all times. I know that our days of waiting will be followed by changes and activity and wonder. So, today we are like small seeds, under the earth, waiting for the warmth and changes of spring. I feel like we are waiting for that warming sun to bring us to another season of life.

There are things to be done in the waiting. Things that we do to make the most of it. And maybe just to take our minds off of it. Sigh.

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